Note: My counselor suggested I write a letter to God, forgiving those whom I perceive to have wronged me.
Dear God,
I must first of all confess that I have no right to talk to you. I have opposed you to your face my whole life, you, who gave me life and breath and everything. I understand why your Word says on man's behalf, "I am a worm and not a man!"
You see, I am a wicked, rebellious sinner. And I know it. If you say, "Up," my heart longs to go down. If you say, "Left," I'll convince myself that right is clearly the best way to go.
And yet you are the one who formed the heavens and the earth. You are the one who created light from darkness, who made such a diversity of creatures, and whose wisdom confounds the sharpest of scientists and philosophers throughout history.
And you sent your Son to die for my sins that I might yet be redeemed despite my foolishness and live forever.
And still my heart wanders. It is not as if I am not grateful for all you have given me: my life, both in this world and the one to come - and the world in which I dwell - and at such tremendous cost to yourself. I am grateful.
But I am not ONLY grateful. I am also heartless and cruel and selfish and pitiless and merciless and petty. I often live to seek my own glory rather than yours.
Yes I worship you - but I have other gods as well. I worship myself. I worship my stomach. I live for pleasure. I squander the talents you have given me, burying them in the ground. I have asked for my inheritance early and squandered it on the pleasures of sin.
And I have been bitter towards you. I walked away from the ministry voluntarily in obedience to your clear command spoken through the guiding hand of your providence. You backed me into a corner where I had no choice but to let it go for the good of my family, and I relented and obeyed your command to care for my family first and foremost.
And I confess that I felt like I had gouged out my own eyes. I confess that I blamed you for my pain. I confess that I feel like you have abandoned me and withdrawn from me.
And I confess that I feel justified in feeling this way. When I would preach the Word, I had an intimacy with your Word that it seems I cannot experience any other way. Sure, it's one thing to study the Word in depth, but quite another when there is the pressure of the need to write a sermon for this Sunday that accompanies it. That pressure produces a need to delve into the text, it produces a motivation and a purpose.
And I confess the truth: I miss you. I miss your Word. I miss preaching. And I confess that it's at least in part because I don't feel like my life is quite as important as it could have been had I preached your Word.
And I confess that since I have missed you and missed your Word, and missed the pressure that comes from having to preach, and miss the purpose in studying your Word - I confess that I have blamed you for withdrawing from me, and so I have withdrawn from you.
I confess I have abandoned your Word and abandoned prayer. I confess that these have become loathsome to me. I confess that my heart has become cold and bitter, black and shriveled.
I confess that I tolerate life and have ceased to really live it.
And I confess I have abandoned hope in Christ by wondering if I have failed to measure up to some standard of behavior, so that perhaps I brought this upon myself. Perhaps my WORKS were insufficient to EARN your favor and so become a minister.
I confess that I have forgotten that even my BEST works, indeed, the best works of any man who now has the privilege of preaching in the pulpit, are but filthy rags. They are soiled diapers. My best works are as the vomit encrusted clothes of a homeless man who has died of alcohol poisoning. They do not cover my shame. They do not make me radiant.
I confess: you alone are holy. The only man who ever truly did good was your Son, Jesus Christ.
I confess I have no hope in myself but in Christ alone. I confess I could not have failed to earn the right to become a minister, because no man has ever earned that right. For, as your Word declares, even Jesus did not appoint himself to his office, for your Word to him that echoes of all eternity was captured by the psalmist who says that you once said to him, "You are a priest forever, after the order of Melchizadek." No man can ever be worthy to preach your Word, no man can ever appoint himself to the task. It is never a matter of justice, but only a matter of your appointment.
I confess that you have appointed me to bring you glory however you see fit, and I will obey as you empower me to do so, whether I know what I am doing or not. May Jesus' words also cover me: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing." I confess I have no idea what I am doing or why I am doing it. These things are known to you alone.
Please grant me the wisdom that leads to being at peace. Please restore me to a love of your Word and of prayer. Grant me the grace to forgive others, even as you have forgiven me.
Whatever the truth of the matter is, I cannot say, only you know, but I forgive those who have, in my eyes, mistreated me unjustly without cause.
Your Word says that there are shepherds who do not feed, heal, care for the flock, your flock, your people, your church. You say that they feed only themselves. You have said that they do not bind the wounds of the sheep. They do not chase away the wolves. They eat the sheep! They clothe themselves in their wool.
I know from my experiences that your Word is true, because I have met just such a wicked shepherd. I was his intern. He was my pastor.
When I should have been especially under his wing, he rejected me. He did not pray with me regularly. He made me feel unwelcome and burdensome in his presence. He wasn't even there the first several times I preached in his church, and was alarmed and overreacted when the elders took issue with a sermon I preached that was too long. It WAS too long, and I feel awful about it and embarrassed to this day. He was right to tell me to never do that again, but it was my fourth sermon there, and the other three were of appropriate length, and I explained that I was trying to learn how to preach from an outline rather than a manuscript. I messed up bad. But he would never forgive me and labeled me useless and stupid and completely incompetent from then on, and there was simply no overcoming it.
He humiliated me privately by telling me, after listening to a RECORDING of that ONE sermon that he was pretty sure I wasn't cut out for the ministry.
He humiliated me further by demanding that I submit every sermon outline, Sunday school plan or youth group lesson to him by Thursday night in advance of Sunday so that he could look over it and make sure it was up to snuff.
He humiliated me further by regularly, week in and week out, offering up extremely rude and blunt criticism laced with accusations of everything I had written and said it all via email.
And though I had determined, right from the very start of this, to NEVER argue with him, to NEVER defend myself, but to be like Jesus, silent before his accusers, like a lamb to the slaughter. I demanded it of myself and I obeyed. Rather than respond in kind to his emails, I would simply make the changes he requested and send the materials back to him by the end of the day Friday or Saturday morning, so that he could take one last crack at it before Sunday - which he often did, subjecting me to yet more criticism and accusations.
And the humiliation was also public. Not content with making me feel stupid every week via email, he always also found ways to criticize my Sunday School lessons DURING Sunday school, and taught the church, especially the elders, to do the same. He also led the elders and consequently the whole church in criticizing my sermons every Sunday night during the ill-advised question and answer period that closed out the evening service.
Every meeting of the board of elders was another opportunity for him to criticize and humiliate me with an audience. Every Sunday was an opportunity to criticize me in front of the whole church.
The pastor and elders all should have known better than to think that anyone, as soon as their sermon was preached, would immediately be persuaded in a few sentences to disavow expressions and thoughts they'd carefully crafted over the course of a week in conversation with the text, something they'd been trained to do in four ridiculously difficult years in seminary. And they thought that they would change my mind with one or two sentences, carelessly thrown out after thinking about the passage for all of about 25 minutes. The truth is fairly obvious: the assumed I would simply bow to their obviously superior intellect and wisdom.
I succumbed to the temptation to defend what I had said ONCE. One time. I had been there several months at this point and was sick and tired of getting the proverbial rotten tomatoes thrown at me every single week, and had anticipated what they were going to say. And when they, predictably, said exactly what I knew they were going to say, I said that I had thought about it that week, hoping that that might at last gain me some modicum of respect in their eyes. But no such luck. It got really ugly, really fast. It was like trying to talk to a brick wall. Though I remained respectful, I wasn't about to concede that my entire sermon was based on an incorrect understanding of the passage (because it wasn't), and after diverting the conversation to someone else's question (which was inevitably not a question but yet another thinly disguised statement of the intern's incompetence to say anything about what the Bible says), we all moved on. Or so I thought.
From that ONE anecdotal piece of evidence, now every time the elders evaluated me formally as part of my internship, I was labeled "unteachable", and this was the only evidence cited - even almost a year later at the end of my internship. And at that time, the pastor even admitted that this was the only time there'd been even a hint at me being unteachable, and admitted that there was actually a mountain of evidence to the contrary. Nonetheless, I was labeled as unteachable.
And why? Because this group of men who had somehow become leaders in the church - these shepherds who fed only themselves, especially their own egos - had determined at the very outset of my internship that they were going to keep me out of the ministry and had been on a quest ever since to find reasons to justify it.
My unpardonable crimes were these, as I later realized: 1) a sermon very early in my internship that was too long (it was too long, but my sermons after that were always right at 25 minutes with no more than 2-3 minutes variance either way). 2) A "strong distinction between the law and the gospel". That's in quotation marks because it's a quote. The pastor, after my internship ended, admitted that my making such a strong distinction between these two made him very uncomfortable. He never mentioned it a second time, but there was NO gospel whatsoever in his preaching. NONE. At that was how he treated me too. No kindness, no mercy, no grace, no love. Just constant criticism, accusations and reminders that I just don't measure up. 3) I was a committed reformed/presbyterian who thought the Bible actually teaches what our confession says it does. I was "too sure of myself", which the pastor interpreted as arrogance, and demanded everyone else agree with him. Apparently I was supposed to have no idea what I was talking about after four years of seminary and was supposed to teach that the Bible says whatever anyone thinks it says, and that I had no actual right to interpret it.
And the whole internship came to a head almost 6 months after it was over, when he came banging on my door the day after Thanksgiving (3 years ago yesterday), demanding to know why I hadn't come to his office to defend last Sunday night's sermon as we had agreed last Sunday night.
And the horrible thing I had suggested in my sermon? The scandal that had him so outrageously upset?
It was that I had dared to suggest, as I preached out of Romans 4, that when Paul insists that Abraham was NOT justified by works, he felt it necessary to say so because there were Jews at the time who actually DID think he was justified by works.
The pastor vigorously challenged this in front of the entire congregation (because he was sure that no one wanted to go home, but would rather sit and listen to some obscure academic debate), and when I said that I had read such a view of the passage in Cranfield (a VERY credible and legitimate commentary on Romans which I liked so much I asked for it as a birthday present one year), he suddenly dropped the debate and allowed the conversation to proceed.
Of course, after the congregation was dismissed, he made a beeline for me and, after claiming that he didn't want to "gainsay" me in public, he demanded to know where Cranfield had said such and such and how he had come to that conclusion. I said that he quoted several - SEVERAL - ancient sources, and that he could see it for himself if he wanted. He demanded I bring the commentary to him that week in his office and show him. He said he found it outrageous that I could say such a thing in like of Sanders' scholarship on second temple Judaism. That's when I remembered his discomfort with a strong distinction between law and gospel, and realized this was a conversation I didn't want to have.
So I delayed. I didn't go to his office. That Thursday was Thanksgiving. And I didn't answer my phone. I figured I'd drag it out till Sunday and just hand it to him and walk away.
But he came to my apartment and demanded to know why I hadn't come by, and why I hadn't returned his calls. And I finally told him. I told him he'd done nothing but criticize me, and that his desire not to gainsay me in public was ridiculous because he'd been doing that with astonishing regularity since the very first time he'd heard me preach, now a year and a half ago. And I told him he'd led the elders and congregation to follow him in this, so that whenever I stood before anyone in that church I felt like I was in the middle of a feeding frenzy. I told him he'd bred a culture of contentiousness in that congregation, and that it was all bent toward constantly criticizing me. And I said I silently took it all and did NOT defend myself, with one, really quite small exception, and that nevertheless, he and the elders had unjustly labeled me as unteachable, even though I changed EVERY sermon I ever wrote in that church in response to his criticism even before I preached it, and did my best to incorporate the mountain of criticism I received in response to my sermons or teaching whenever it occurred. I said it was as if he and the elders were listening to me only for the purpose of finding something to criticize.
I said that though I stood on the floor of the regional governing body of the church and when asked what my biggest weakness was said, "Humility - as soon as I start to show some small signs of humility, I take pride in how humble I am" - even though I stood before those who held my future in their hands, I nevertheless admitted this weakness - and yet I was still labeled as arrogant by him and the elders.
And when I had said this and much more, especially about him preaching through the book I had preached through as an intern - I couldn't BELIEVE the audacity of this man - he admitted to all (though he claimed his preaching through that book had nothing to do with my having preached it, which means either he was lying or the biggest moron in the history of the world, which I knew was not true) and said he was ashamed of himself. He admitted that he had seen me as a threat from day one and was determined to squash me. When I took it all in silence and did not defend myself, he said he interpreted that as defiance and redoubled his efforts to squash me. And when I continued to silently acquiesce to his slightest whim about my sermons or anything else, he grew more and more frustrated that I didn't argue back. He said this. And he prayed (only the second or third time he had ever done so with me) and confessed to you that he was ashamed of himself for what he had done.
He wanted me to be like him. He wanted me to be contentious like him. He wanted me to be sharp tongued and blunt in front of people like him. He wanted me to be a shepherd that feeds on the flock and teaches them to be wolves. And when it became clear that that was never going to be who I am, he decided to punish me for it.
Lord, I confess that in my eyes he is indistinguishable from Cain.
This man maliciously destroyed my reputation. He crushed my career before it ever began. He stomped on my heart. He drove a wedge between me and the church. He isolated me from the fellowship of the saints. He threatened my well being, and much more importantly, the well being of my family. He was determined to be an obstacle between me and the ministry and was resolute that he would never recommend me for the office of minister.
And I know this because just before I left that miserable place, I made him admit it. He admitted that were any potential church to call him and ask about me, he'd say, "He's not ready." This is just a cop out, and I told him so. He didn't deny it. The truth was, he still felt threatened by me and remained determined to crush me to the extent it was in his power. He declined to say whether anyone had called him to ask the question or not. I suspect they had, and I never heard about it because he told them I wasn't ready and then was too ashamed to tell me what he had done because he knew it was unjust.
But Father, your Word says, "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."
First and foremost, I need your forgiveness. You have forgiven me 10 thousand talents of gold - an incredible sum worth Billions in today's money. It's such a huge debt that I could never have paid it to you. And really, Billions doesn't even capture it. If I had a Billion dollars, it wouldn't even begin to pay for the debt that I owed you because of my sin.
The only thing that COULD pay the debt for my sin would be eternal Death in hell forever. And even that would never be enough, which is why I deserve to die forever and ever with no one to rescue.
But you DID rescue me. You sent your only Son, who is himself God, who gave up his glorious throne to take on flesh and walk around among us sinners in the stench of our sin...and we killed him in a jealous rage - perhaps hoping to deny him the eternal life we felt we deserved despite our sin which we know makes us worthy only of death. We are foolish and irrational in our efforts to cling to our sins and justify ourselves despite them. We oppose you to your face. I oppose you to your face. And yet you gave up everything to redeem me, though you have to drag me, kicking and screaming toward what's in my own best interests.
You have forgiven me my debt by PAYING my debt for me.
How could I then turn around and demand that this man repay me for what he has done to me and what he has robbed me of?
He couldn't have prevented me from being a minister if that's what you had wanted. He's no match for you. And I deliberately chose not to defend myself. I chose to just go away quietly. I voluntarily walked away from the ministry because it seemed to me very clear that that's what you were asking of me - and wasn't I willing to do so?
Can't I look back on my experiences and know that I learned something from them? It may be that I don't understand all that I learned or its true significance. I don't know the future you have planned for me in this life or how you will be glorified in it.
But I do know that you were pleased to shape me to more closely resemble Christ through suffering. And that suffering was VERY public. Many people saw it with their own eyes and saw that I took it all in stride. Whatever I may feel about that internship or whatever anyone else may say, one thing is for certain: you were pleased to give me an opportunity to bear witness on your behalf - which is exactly what I had set out to do when I went to seminary.
Thank you for teaching me wisdom through suffering. Thank you for bringing me to that church where I suffered so many things for your glory. Thank you for granting me the grace to believe in all you have done for me, to believe in the promises of your Word, and to trust that you know what you're doing. Someday what happened to me will be made more widely know in the age to come, and YOU, not me, will be glorified exactly how you have determined to be glorified.
And so I forgive this man who did all these things to me and sought to overthrow your purposes for my life. His efforts served just the opposite. He sought to silence my testimony, but instead he handed me a megaphone and enhanced my testimony. He gave me an opportunity to "put my money where my mouth is". He gave me an opportunity to show that I really do, deep down, want only to serve you however you want me to (even if I also have competing sinful, fleshly desires).
It is not for me to say whether or not he is in Christ. That's your job. You're God and I'm not. You are the ONLY judge.
If he is in Christ, then there is no debt for him to pay to me, because Christ has paid it for him already. How could I DARE to demand any further payment if Christ has shed his blood for him and YOU have forgiven him? How blasphemous would I be if I still held his sins against him?
If he is not in Christ, your Word teaches me that vengeance belongs to you alone. David was so good about not taking revenge on his own behalf but leaving it to you to repay. And you did. So with him, so with all of us who hope in Christ. If this man is not in Christ, you will take vengeance upon him for what he has done to me. You will put him to death forever in torment and cast him out of your presence. What could I add to that? Is this not enough to satisfy me? For me to demand more is outrageous. If I insist on something tangible in this life, then isn't that admitting that I don't really believe in hell? But I do believe in it and I believe that you are just and will not leave sins, any sins, unpunished. Vengeance is yours.
Help me to repent and turn from all those little ways my heart yearns for little expressions of vengeance, hatred and anger. Keep my heart from hating this man. Keep me from anger. Keep me from desiring any sort of vengeance against him.
Please grow me in my faith. Please help me to believe that you really HAVE forgiven me. Please remind me that even though I can't become a minister, it doesn't mean you haven't forgiven me of my sins. Remind me that you have spared me from something that would not have been best for me.
Remind me that I was desperately seeking to get to the airport on time to make my scheduled flight, and that the obstacles you put in my way to prevent me from getting there on time were not your cruelty, but your mercy - because that plane was destined to explode on takeoff.
Take me to Psalm 73 again and again and again. Remind me of the end of the story: that we will live forever in glory, and those who do not have faith in Christ will die forever in shame and misery. Remind me that I desperately wanted to run as fast as I could to hell, but that you have dragged me, kicking and screaming, to heaven.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And on earth, there is nothing I desire.
You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I am your servant, you are my God.
I claim the promises of your Word in faith because of what Christ has done for me, in the power of the Spirit.
Amen.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
A Supra-Lapse in Judgment
I had a flight the next morning and had to get up early. It was a very important international flight for a business trip. If I missed it, I'd be in big trouble. The tickets were expensive because of course the client waited until the very last possible minute before giving final approval.
So I set the alarm on my trusty old clock radio and went to bed. I deliberately stayed up a little too late so that I'd be tired for the flight and sleep on the plane. My alarm clock will...zzzzzz
I stretched lazily in bed. My alarm hadn't gone off yet, so I could just go right back to sleep. But I decided to look at the clock anyway and see what time it....OH CRAP!!! My alarm clock was blinking 12:00!!! I looked at my watch and it was a half hour after my alarm was supposed to go off.
I bolted out of bed, bolted to the bathroom, slammed on the shower, slammed on the hot water in the sink, tore out my razor and proceeded to tear my face apart and bleed all over the place. Great. Just what I need. Thanks God! Way to help me out here!
Sigh. Sorry. I didn't mean it. Please forgive me.
Finally in the shower, slathering soap, slopping shampoo, frantically drying, brushing teeth...ugh...I haven't eaten yet. GAAARGH!
Finally, FINALLY out the door, on my way to the car, checking my back pocket for my...I can't BELIEVE I left my wallet inside! God, you're KILLING me today!
Back outside, heading to car, checking for my...phone...ok...do I have my passport? Where's my passport? Why is it taking so long to get to the car? Wait - where'd I park? Stupid apartment complex! Why don't they ever have a tow truck come through and tow these cars that aren't supposed to be here!? Where's my car!? God...c'mon!
In the car, heading to the airport, driving along, trying not to be a maniac, failing miserably...awww, c'mon! Why are we stopping?! Wait, what's that...is that...oh great. An accident. Let me guess, someone died and the road is going to be closed for 3 hours. Thanks a lot God! I was already running late, now this? Move it!!!
Finally, FINALLY get to the airport...how much is it to park here?! Good thing I'm expensing this!
Looking for a parking spot...parking spot...God, please cut me a break. Oh! There's one! Nope, just one of those Smart cars. Couldn't see it around that SUV. Sigh....COME ON! There has GOT to be a space somewhere...God? Are you having a little fun with me today?
Running from the car to the terminal...CRAP! I forgot my...
Sweating...legs getting sore...running inside to the terminal. Finally inside. Long lines! Long lines to check in, long lines at security - I'll never make it! God!!!!!
Seething, gnashing teeth, glaring at people who dare to face me. Saying nothing to overworked, underpaid airport staff, just silently handing them whatever they ask for, deliberately contributing to their misery. Ignoring God. Talk to the hand.
Finally through security, sprinting. Legs on fire. Sweat gushing from every pore. Red faced. Out of breath. That's my name on the loudspeaker! People in the way. Move!
Finally to the gate. Finally! Just in time for the doors to close. GOOOOOD!!!!! How could you! How COULD you?! Why have you forsaken me!?
Collapsed, pressed against the window. Nothing better to do than watch the plane take off while I catch my breath.
Watching the plane taxi. There it goes. Slowly bumping along. I bet everyone inside is hot and miserable. I'm hot and miserable. This is going to cost a lot of money. Next flight isn't till tomorrow. The boss is gonna be mad. Seriously God? Seriously? Could you be any more cruel right now?
There goes my plane. Finally their turn. I don't even know why I'm watching this.
There it goes - accelerating, gaining speed. And the front wheel has left the ground...now the back wheels...
BAM!!! The plane explodes in a huge ball of fire!
Shock.
Disbelief.
People screaming.
Stunned.
Uh oh...where's a garbage can..... VOMITS
I wiped my mouth a little and returned to the window to watch the scene, my brain beginning to catch up and take in what's happened.
Suddenly, all my angry thoughts and accusations toward God came to mind. My eyes began to moisten. Tears began to flow.
I thought of Psalm 73 - I was like a brute beast before you....till I discerned their end.
I'm so sorry, Lord. Please forgive me. Not because I deserve it, but because of what Jesus did for me.
Humbled. Contrite. Repentant. Ashamed.
How wrongly I had interpreted...EVERYTHING!
Now ask yourself...put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if that happened to you? Probably about like someone who's been saved by grace from the gaping jaws of hell should feel everyday.
Aren't we all rushing to get on that plane? Don't we think God is conspiring against us when obstacles arise in our path? Nothing particular comes to mind of course...certainly not having to walk away from the ministry.
That plane we're all so desperate to get on is about to explode. Maybe those obstacles in your path are God's mercy, not cruelty.
How would you feel if you had just missed your plane? Beyond frustrated. Beyond angry. Accusing God!
Now you watch your plane explode - the very plane you were trying so hard to get on. Now how do you feel? Humbled. Ashamed. Accusations instantly and irrevocably turn into gratitude. God is vindicated.
Now comes the really, really, really hard question. What did it take to humble the man in the story? What had to happen? His humility comes at a price. His own suffering, right? Yes. He was brought through difficult circumstances.
But there's something else going on here too that perhaps you're overlooking. What about the people on the plane?
To bring about his humble contrition, to turn angry accusations into repentant gratitude...
ALL.
THOSE.
PEOPLE.
HAD.
TO.
DIE.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Isaiah 43:3-4
This message has been brought to you by the Society for the Revival of Supralapsarianism in conjunction with a grant from Former Ministers Anonymous.
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So I set the alarm on my trusty old clock radio and went to bed. I deliberately stayed up a little too late so that I'd be tired for the flight and sleep on the plane. My alarm clock will...zzzzzz
I stretched lazily in bed. My alarm hadn't gone off yet, so I could just go right back to sleep. But I decided to look at the clock anyway and see what time it....OH CRAP!!! My alarm clock was blinking 12:00!!! I looked at my watch and it was a half hour after my alarm was supposed to go off.
I bolted out of bed, bolted to the bathroom, slammed on the shower, slammed on the hot water in the sink, tore out my razor and proceeded to tear my face apart and bleed all over the place. Great. Just what I need. Thanks God! Way to help me out here!
Sigh. Sorry. I didn't mean it. Please forgive me.
Finally in the shower, slathering soap, slopping shampoo, frantically drying, brushing teeth...ugh...I haven't eaten yet. GAAARGH!
Finally, FINALLY out the door, on my way to the car, checking my back pocket for my...I can't BELIEVE I left my wallet inside! God, you're KILLING me today!
Back outside, heading to car, checking for my...phone...ok...do I have my passport? Where's my passport? Why is it taking so long to get to the car? Wait - where'd I park? Stupid apartment complex! Why don't they ever have a tow truck come through and tow these cars that aren't supposed to be here!? Where's my car!? God...c'mon!
In the car, heading to the airport, driving along, trying not to be a maniac, failing miserably...awww, c'mon! Why are we stopping?! Wait, what's that...is that...oh great. An accident. Let me guess, someone died and the road is going to be closed for 3 hours. Thanks a lot God! I was already running late, now this? Move it!!!
Finally, FINALLY get to the airport...how much is it to park here?! Good thing I'm expensing this!
Looking for a parking spot...parking spot...God, please cut me a break. Oh! There's one! Nope, just one of those Smart cars. Couldn't see it around that SUV. Sigh....COME ON! There has GOT to be a space somewhere...God? Are you having a little fun with me today?
Running from the car to the terminal...CRAP! I forgot my...
Sweating...legs getting sore...running inside to the terminal. Finally inside. Long lines! Long lines to check in, long lines at security - I'll never make it! God!!!!!
Seething, gnashing teeth, glaring at people who dare to face me. Saying nothing to overworked, underpaid airport staff, just silently handing them whatever they ask for, deliberately contributing to their misery. Ignoring God. Talk to the hand.
Finally through security, sprinting. Legs on fire. Sweat gushing from every pore. Red faced. Out of breath. That's my name on the loudspeaker! People in the way. Move!
Finally to the gate. Finally! Just in time for the doors to close. GOOOOOD!!!!! How could you! How COULD you?! Why have you forsaken me!?
Collapsed, pressed against the window. Nothing better to do than watch the plane take off while I catch my breath.
Watching the plane taxi. There it goes. Slowly bumping along. I bet everyone inside is hot and miserable. I'm hot and miserable. This is going to cost a lot of money. Next flight isn't till tomorrow. The boss is gonna be mad. Seriously God? Seriously? Could you be any more cruel right now?
There goes my plane. Finally their turn. I don't even know why I'm watching this.
There it goes - accelerating, gaining speed. And the front wheel has left the ground...now the back wheels...
BAM!!! The plane explodes in a huge ball of fire!
Shock.
Disbelief.
People screaming.
Stunned.
Uh oh...where's a garbage can..... VOMITS
I wiped my mouth a little and returned to the window to watch the scene, my brain beginning to catch up and take in what's happened.
Suddenly, all my angry thoughts and accusations toward God came to mind. My eyes began to moisten. Tears began to flow.
I thought of Psalm 73 - I was like a brute beast before you....till I discerned their end.
I'm so sorry, Lord. Please forgive me. Not because I deserve it, but because of what Jesus did for me.
Humbled. Contrite. Repentant. Ashamed.
How wrongly I had interpreted...EVERYTHING!
Now ask yourself...put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if that happened to you? Probably about like someone who's been saved by grace from the gaping jaws of hell should feel everyday.
Aren't we all rushing to get on that plane? Don't we think God is conspiring against us when obstacles arise in our path? Nothing particular comes to mind of course...certainly not having to walk away from the ministry.
That plane we're all so desperate to get on is about to explode. Maybe those obstacles in your path are God's mercy, not cruelty.
How would you feel if you had just missed your plane? Beyond frustrated. Beyond angry. Accusing God!
Now you watch your plane explode - the very plane you were trying so hard to get on. Now how do you feel? Humbled. Ashamed. Accusations instantly and irrevocably turn into gratitude. God is vindicated.
Now comes the really, really, really hard question. What did it take to humble the man in the story? What had to happen? His humility comes at a price. His own suffering, right? Yes. He was brought through difficult circumstances.
But there's something else going on here too that perhaps you're overlooking. What about the people on the plane?
To bring about his humble contrition, to turn angry accusations into repentant gratitude...
ALL.
THOSE.
PEOPLE.
HAD.
TO.
DIE.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Isaiah 43:3-4
This message has been brought to you by the Society for the Revival of Supralapsarianism in conjunction with a grant from Former Ministers Anonymous.
Remember, this website is purely anonymous: both those who post and those who comment. Comments that name people (including the name of the commenter), churches or organizations will be deleted.
I Hate Listening to Sermons
Since I walked away from the ministry, I hate listening to sermons. I really do.
Yep, I didn't qualify that or add anything to it. There it is, right up front, all alone.
I hate listening to sermons. Can't stand it.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm a Christian who struggles with sin and desperately needs to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ preached to me on a regular basis. I absolutely love the Word of God. Nonetheless, I hate listening to sermons.
Surely now that I've said it four times (counting the title of this post), you believe that I really mean it.
Ok, all of that was for the people reading this post who aren't former ministers. You former ministers know exactly what I'm talking about.
It really started in seminary... It turns out, the more you learn about how to do something well, the harder it is to be patient with those who do not do it well, especially when it's their job to do it well.
Let me explain. I've learned what it means to preach the Word. I understand the theories and principles behind it. I get, in the abstract, what preaching fundamentally IS. So when I sit down to listen to a sermon, I expect it to conform with what preaching is supposed to be.
Preaching is fundamentally about preaching the Word (2 Tim 4:1-2). That very Word of God is personified throughout the Old Testament prophets, a theme that John takes up in the opening of his gospel: "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God." Powerful words, these.
We really shouldn't ask, "What is the Word of God?" but rather, "WHO is the Word of God?" The answer is Jesus, God the Son, who became a man and fulfilled his role in the covenant of redemption, according to which he would become a man, live sinlessly, lay down his life for his people and be rewarded with eternal life, glorification, and ultimately a bride, his people, whom he would redeem by shedding his blood, whom he would clothe in his righteousness and present to himself blameless and glorified, and who would be devoted to him in utter gratitude for all he had done for her. This is the God man, the Word become flesh.
And THIS is what the content of preaching is. Jesus: who he is, what he has done, what that means for us, what it implies for us, etc. Preaching must be Christ centered, Christ focused, Christ saturated.
So far this is theological finger painting. Nonetheless, even those who would articulate just such a view of preaching, even if they consciously aim at this as their standard, will always fail to execute perfectly because we're sinners.
Furthermore, Jesus must be preached in every passage. No, it does not matter that your sermon text is a list of names in a genealogy in the Old Testament. Jesus said that the Scriptures testify to him (John 5:39). Furthermore, when Jesus met with the disciples on the road to Emmaus, he taught through the entire Old Testament. And what was his subject matter? Himself (Luke 24:25-27).
Paul also confirms this of course. He says that the law and the prophets (= Old Testament) bear witness to the imputed righteousness of God that is credited to us by faith in Christ alone (Rom 3:21-26). Christ is explicitly mentioned as the content and subject of preaching (Col 1:28, 1 Cor 1:23). He is the fullness of our wisdom from God (1 Cor 1:30).
But, some say, what about the Old Testament? You can't preach about Jesus from the Old Testament without reading Jesus back into the text. Certainly the Jews of ancient times would not have understood it so.
Very well, let's talk about the purpose of the existence of Israel. Why did Israel ever exist at all? Why did God do that? Let's start from the beginning.
Gen 3:15 - undoubtedly you know the passage. Adam and his (so far) nameless wife have just sinned by doing the one thing God commanded them not to. God comes and demands that Adam account for himself, and he blames his wife. God turns to his wife and she blames the serpent. God never asked the serpent anything. (Ever wondered why?) Then comes the curse, and as part of the curse on the serpent, God says that one will come, the seed of the woman, who will crush the serpent's head. And of course the serpent is the Death-bringer, so crushing his head is a reference to triumph over Death. Who is that seed of the woman? That word "seed" becomes extremely important in the book of Genesis, something that Paul takes up in Gal 3:16. (Hint: Paul explicitly says that the Seed is none other than Jesus Christ.) Adam is so full of hope and inspiration that he gives his wife a (new?) name: Eve, because she was the mother of all the living. Translation: thanks to the Seed promise, we didn't die, my wife will have children, and they will LIVE! They were supposed to die for eating the fruit - but they were spared. So Eve is redeemed and given a new name.
However, you know how it goes from there...Abel seemed to be the Seed, but then Cain kills him. And so begins the awful history of fallen man. The flood. Sodom and Gomorrah.
Then God revives his Seed promise by talking to a guy named Abram, who is later renamed Abraham. God promises to Abram in Gen 15 that he will have a Son who will inherit the land. And he promises him Seed. There's that word again. So basically, God promised that Abraham would have a Son who would be the Seed promised in Gen 3:15, the Seed of the woman, Eve. And God promised to Abraham that his Seed would inherit the land of Israel, and that his Seed would be as numerous as the stars of the sky, etc. Who was that referring to again Paul? Christ! (Gal 3:16)
So the big deal about Abraham is that his line would give birth to Christ, the promised coming one who would conquer Death and crush the head of the serpent. And God adds that he will inherit the land. And as the Old Testament progresses, the promise gets filled out more and more.
Who were the children of Israel? They were some of the children of Abraham. Abraham was the father of Isaac, who was the father of Jacob who had 12 sons whose lines became the 12 tribes of Israel. What made those people special? The promise that they would give birth to Christ.
This is the ENTIRE REASON for Israel's existence. This is what set them apart. This is what made them special. This is why they were God's special, chosen people, his lasting possession, his inheritance (bride language). What made them special was that they were people of the promise. Their hope was in Christ, the one who would be born who would redeem them from Death, the Seed of the woman who was now revealed to be the Seed of Abraham, who might be born at any time.
This is why, for example, Tamar was so desperate to have a child of Judah's line (Gen 38). It's a bizarre story and we often don't know what to make of it, but she went to extraordinary lengths to become part of Jesus' family tree. She wanted to be part of the family of promise because she believed in the promise and wanted redemption from death through the promised Seed to come. Granted, her methods were crazy, but God blessed her for her faith, not her deeds, even though her faith did shine through in her sin-tainted deeds.
So the ENTIRE POINT of the history of Israel points to Jesus. Jesus' birth in the New Testament gives significance to literally everything that happened in the Old Testament, because the Old Testament is the story of Israel, the people of the promise. The Old Testament only means anything at all because of the birth of Christ. It's not only what makes Israel's story significant to us, it's also what made their story significant to them at the time. Their hope was in the Messiah to come, and they all knew that was what made them God's chosen people. They were the promise people who hoped in Christ. Granted, they didn't know exactly what they were hoping for, didn't fully understand it, but neither do we fully understand heaven or what the resurrection will be like - yet that's what distinguishes us as the church. We are those who hope in heaven, who hope in the resurrection, in the age to come. We hope in things we don't fully understand.
If the entirety of the significance of the nation of Israel flows from the birth of Christ and the promises that were made about him, beginning all the way back at the very beginning of human history in the Garden of Eden - then isn't Jesus the POINT of the Old Testament?
And this is what Matthew does so eloquently in Matt 2:15. When Joseph brings his wife and son Jesus out of Egypt where they had hidden, Matthew says that this fulfills the words of Scripture and quotes from Hosea 11:1, "Out of Egypt I brought my son." The only problem is that if you go back to Hos 11:1, you'll see that it VERY clearly is referring to Israel as God's son. But don't worry - Matthew knows what he's doing. He's just saying what I've been saying.
Matthew is just saying that Israel as a nation was a living, breathing testimony to Jesus Christ. They were a nation set apart. God was calling attention to them and drawing the world's gaze upon them. And the world has surely noticed and has been paying attention ever since. But the whole reason for doing so was to prepare the stage for the coming of Jesus Christ.
Jesus was, as they say, in the loins of his ancestors when they were called out of Egypt and Pharaoh and his army was drowned in the Red Sea. Their very existence and especially the story of their remarkable history bears witness to their hope in the coming Messiah who would redeem them from death. They were the Jesus people, heralding his coming on the stage of world history simply by being who they were. The Word which would be made flesh was already on the lips of his people, because their existence spoke of him long before he became a man. Their existence spoke a Word, and that is the very Word who became flesh. And that Word is recorded in the Scriptures of the Old Testament.
And OH! What a rich Word it is! How robust and full of color, character, emotion, tragedies, comedies; there are stories of heroes, cowards, men, women, children, ridiculously old people living almost a millennium; there are angels of light and monsters of the deep; there are stories of battles and warriors and kings and queens, temples and empires; there are historical narratives, poetry, prophecy, prose, mind bending wisdom literature, visions, crazy dreams, impossibly long lists of names and even a book of songs. And all of it, every single last word of it, somehow, in some way testifies to the coming of Jesus Christ and its significance.
Even the best ministers can screw it up at times. It can be really hard.
But as hard as it is - and this is really why I hate listening to sermons - foolish, sinful, prideful men inevitably make it harder than it needs to be.
Please, please, for Christ's sake, preach sermons that are simple, clear and concise. Preach the text as it shines light on Jesus Christ. Tell me what Jesus has done for me. Encourage me to hope in him. This is the point of Scripture. Yes, convict me, rebuke me, but remind me that I am redeemed. After all, isn't that the point of convicting me of my sin, to remind me to appreciate how much I need Christ and how precious his shed blood on my behalf actually is? Isn't THAT what I need?
But that is SO rarely what you get. Like I said, even if you're aiming at these goals, they're very hard to strike perfectly. Obviously when I preached sermons, that's what I was aiming for. I don't think I ever really nailed it. Only Scripture can really do that.
Sadly, most men are not even aiming at these goals deliberately to begin with. Oh sure, most men, at least in reformed and presbyterian circles, will insist that preaching must be Christ centered in theory. And yet in practice, they'll preach a moralistic sermon that says little if anything about Jesus. Rather than telling me what Jesus has done for me, they'll beat me over the head with what I need to do for him.
Worse, many men are not deliberately aiming at simplicity, clarity, brevity. They can't help it. They're sinners. They want you to know how well read they are, so they quote unnecessarily long passages from Calvin, making everyone's eyes glaze over. I love Calvin - but please don't ever read long quotes from him in a sermon. It takes a lot of time and careful thought to puzzle out what he's saying - and that's for seminary graduates! How much more is it hard to follow for laymen!
Too often they are more concerned with impressing you than communicating with you. They don't care as much that you understand the message of the text first and foremost, they care first and foremost that you walk away from the sermon saying, "Wow! Our pastor is brilliant! Clearly he's very well read! Have you seen how many books he has in his study? I've been looking for preaching like this my whole life!"
They use big words and theological jargon. They drop names to prove they've read books. They make elaborate points because they want you to know how deeply they've studied and thought about the passage. They teach you about Greek or Hebrew to show you that they can read the original languages and conduct sophisticated linguistic analysis.
They are, in short, like Tamar who prostituted herself and yet, despite herself, managed to bear witness to her hope in Christ anyway and was blessed by being grafted into Jesus' household.
And this is why I hate listening to sermons. I hate obscure sermons no one understands. I hate sermons full of undefined jargon. I hate sermons laced with discussions of the finer nuances of Greek grammar or the often bewildering definitions of Hebrew words. I hate sermons full of names of famous reformers or theologians. I hate academic, pompous, narcissistic sermons designed to impress the audience with the erudition of the speaker rather than communicate the message of the text to everyone present including the children.
The Bible is clear. We believe in the perspicuity of the Scriptures. Why don't we believe in the necessity of clarity in preaching? Why don't we value simplicity? Brevity?
I was actually - I kid you not - critiqued for preaching sermons that were too simple, too easy to understand, too clear. I'm not kidding! Not just by one guy, but SEVERAL pastors! And they were passing along not just their own criticism, but that of many in the congregation as well!
But doesn't Paul say to the Corinthians that the trouble with their three-ring circus they called a worship service was that no one understood the message? He says it's pointless to speak in uninterpreted tongues because no one knows what you're saying (1 Cor 14:6-11). It's much better to speak something that's intelligible, he says.
Likewise, when Christ's disciples ask him why he speaks in parables, he responds that he doesn't want people to understand - otherwise they'd turn and repent and he'd heal them (Matt 13:10-16). The very least thing we can take away from this passage is that understanding the message comes first, then repentance and then healing. And that understanding can't happen unless what's being said is understandable. Much more could be said about that passage, but this is an undeniable implication of it.
And this is why I hate listening to sermons. There's always something wrong with it, tarnishing God's glory, whether mishandling the text or speaking to impress. Either way, it's very uncomfortable for me.
And now that I occupy the pew and never again the pulpit, I can't do anything but just sit there and take it in and try to make the best of it. It's awful. It's almost always a tremendous struggle.
I'm very grateful for the pastor I now have. I have a good relationship with him, and he definitely aims at simplicity most of the time and clarity. He also really takes preaching Christ in all Scripture very seriously. Knowing his heart allows me to forgive him his imperfections.
But there is nothing, nothing, nothing so satisfying as preaching Christ as boldly and clearly as you can from a passage of Scripture. There is a satisfaction in that that cannot be matched by anything else in this world. This is the real reason why sitting in the pew and noticing the shortcomings of sermons (I canNOT turn off the noticing!) is so hard. Just being in the pew and not in the pulpit is so much...less...of an experience.
I can liken my relationship to the Word to the relationship a man has with his wife. And yes, I mean in the biblical sense of knowing. When you wrestle with a text all week preparing to preach it, there's an intimacy with that text. It gets into you somehow and consumes you. It's all you can think about. You're eating dinner...thinking about the text...thinking about the text...what's that noise? "Huh? Oh, sorry, what were you saying honey?" It keeps you up at night because there's something you still can't quite wrap your mind around. It's an intense, all-consuming relationship that you have with that text that week.
And then comes Sunday, that glorious day. That's when you finally get up there and let it all out of you. And it comes out in a flood of emotional and spiritual energy. And it leaves you exhausted but extremely satisfied, even though you feel self conscious about it almost immediately afterward. Like I said, just like a man and his wife.
To walk away from the pulpit is to walk away from...THAT.
To then go and sit in the pew...
I've never been divorced. But I can kind of imagine what it must be like when a man's wife leaves him and he's sad about it but goes along with it. And she takes the kids. And his life has just become so sad. And every other weekend, when he picks up the kids for their short visit, he has to see her together with her new husband. And he puts his arm around her or holds her hand...
And all you can think about is that that's your WIFE. But you don't get to have that relationship with her anymore. You get to hang out with your kids a little bit, but you aren't really their father anymore.
I don't mean to downplay the pain those men go through at all. I'm sure it's absolutely awful and they would prefer to gouge their eyes out. Nonetheless, I think it's an apt analogy.
And you know what's worse? There's only one guy (in most cases) in your entire church who can even begin to relate to what you're feeling because he knows what it is to preach - your pastor. And yet, he can't relate either because he's never had it ripped away from him like a wife who demands a divorce and walks out with the kids and you're powerless to stop her.
That's why I started this blog. I recently began talking to a man who was violently cast out of the ministry. Here at last I met someone who actually understood because he's been there. And I was able to do the same for him. I was actually able to give him some job procurement advice...
...and I felt a satisfaction I haven't known in a very, very long time.
This blog is a place where former ministers can commune together, learn from each other, and for the first time, communicate with others who have been there. We can advise each other. We can help each other heal.
Remember, this website is purely anonymous: both those who post and those who comment. Comments that name people (including the name of the commenter), churches or organizations will be deleted.
Yep, I didn't qualify that or add anything to it. There it is, right up front, all alone.
I hate listening to sermons. Can't stand it.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm a Christian who struggles with sin and desperately needs to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ preached to me on a regular basis. I absolutely love the Word of God. Nonetheless, I hate listening to sermons.
Surely now that I've said it four times (counting the title of this post), you believe that I really mean it.
Ok, all of that was for the people reading this post who aren't former ministers. You former ministers know exactly what I'm talking about.
It really started in seminary... It turns out, the more you learn about how to do something well, the harder it is to be patient with those who do not do it well, especially when it's their job to do it well.
Let me explain. I've learned what it means to preach the Word. I understand the theories and principles behind it. I get, in the abstract, what preaching fundamentally IS. So when I sit down to listen to a sermon, I expect it to conform with what preaching is supposed to be.
Preaching is fundamentally about preaching the Word (2 Tim 4:1-2). That very Word of God is personified throughout the Old Testament prophets, a theme that John takes up in the opening of his gospel: "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God." Powerful words, these.
We really shouldn't ask, "What is the Word of God?" but rather, "WHO is the Word of God?" The answer is Jesus, God the Son, who became a man and fulfilled his role in the covenant of redemption, according to which he would become a man, live sinlessly, lay down his life for his people and be rewarded with eternal life, glorification, and ultimately a bride, his people, whom he would redeem by shedding his blood, whom he would clothe in his righteousness and present to himself blameless and glorified, and who would be devoted to him in utter gratitude for all he had done for her. This is the God man, the Word become flesh.
And THIS is what the content of preaching is. Jesus: who he is, what he has done, what that means for us, what it implies for us, etc. Preaching must be Christ centered, Christ focused, Christ saturated.
So far this is theological finger painting. Nonetheless, even those who would articulate just such a view of preaching, even if they consciously aim at this as their standard, will always fail to execute perfectly because we're sinners.
Furthermore, Jesus must be preached in every passage. No, it does not matter that your sermon text is a list of names in a genealogy in the Old Testament. Jesus said that the Scriptures testify to him (John 5:39). Furthermore, when Jesus met with the disciples on the road to Emmaus, he taught through the entire Old Testament. And what was his subject matter? Himself (Luke 24:25-27).
Paul also confirms this of course. He says that the law and the prophets (= Old Testament) bear witness to the imputed righteousness of God that is credited to us by faith in Christ alone (Rom 3:21-26). Christ is explicitly mentioned as the content and subject of preaching (Col 1:28, 1 Cor 1:23). He is the fullness of our wisdom from God (1 Cor 1:30).
But, some say, what about the Old Testament? You can't preach about Jesus from the Old Testament without reading Jesus back into the text. Certainly the Jews of ancient times would not have understood it so.
Very well, let's talk about the purpose of the existence of Israel. Why did Israel ever exist at all? Why did God do that? Let's start from the beginning.
Gen 3:15 - undoubtedly you know the passage. Adam and his (so far) nameless wife have just sinned by doing the one thing God commanded them not to. God comes and demands that Adam account for himself, and he blames his wife. God turns to his wife and she blames the serpent. God never asked the serpent anything. (Ever wondered why?) Then comes the curse, and as part of the curse on the serpent, God says that one will come, the seed of the woman, who will crush the serpent's head. And of course the serpent is the Death-bringer, so crushing his head is a reference to triumph over Death. Who is that seed of the woman? That word "seed" becomes extremely important in the book of Genesis, something that Paul takes up in Gal 3:16. (Hint: Paul explicitly says that the Seed is none other than Jesus Christ.) Adam is so full of hope and inspiration that he gives his wife a (new?) name: Eve, because she was the mother of all the living. Translation: thanks to the Seed promise, we didn't die, my wife will have children, and they will LIVE! They were supposed to die for eating the fruit - but they were spared. So Eve is redeemed and given a new name.
However, you know how it goes from there...Abel seemed to be the Seed, but then Cain kills him. And so begins the awful history of fallen man. The flood. Sodom and Gomorrah.
Then God revives his Seed promise by talking to a guy named Abram, who is later renamed Abraham. God promises to Abram in Gen 15 that he will have a Son who will inherit the land. And he promises him Seed. There's that word again. So basically, God promised that Abraham would have a Son who would be the Seed promised in Gen 3:15, the Seed of the woman, Eve. And God promised to Abraham that his Seed would inherit the land of Israel, and that his Seed would be as numerous as the stars of the sky, etc. Who was that referring to again Paul? Christ! (Gal 3:16)
So the big deal about Abraham is that his line would give birth to Christ, the promised coming one who would conquer Death and crush the head of the serpent. And God adds that he will inherit the land. And as the Old Testament progresses, the promise gets filled out more and more.
Who were the children of Israel? They were some of the children of Abraham. Abraham was the father of Isaac, who was the father of Jacob who had 12 sons whose lines became the 12 tribes of Israel. What made those people special? The promise that they would give birth to Christ.
This is the ENTIRE REASON for Israel's existence. This is what set them apart. This is what made them special. This is why they were God's special, chosen people, his lasting possession, his inheritance (bride language). What made them special was that they were people of the promise. Their hope was in Christ, the one who would be born who would redeem them from Death, the Seed of the woman who was now revealed to be the Seed of Abraham, who might be born at any time.
This is why, for example, Tamar was so desperate to have a child of Judah's line (Gen 38). It's a bizarre story and we often don't know what to make of it, but she went to extraordinary lengths to become part of Jesus' family tree. She wanted to be part of the family of promise because she believed in the promise and wanted redemption from death through the promised Seed to come. Granted, her methods were crazy, but God blessed her for her faith, not her deeds, even though her faith did shine through in her sin-tainted deeds.
So the ENTIRE POINT of the history of Israel points to Jesus. Jesus' birth in the New Testament gives significance to literally everything that happened in the Old Testament, because the Old Testament is the story of Israel, the people of the promise. The Old Testament only means anything at all because of the birth of Christ. It's not only what makes Israel's story significant to us, it's also what made their story significant to them at the time. Their hope was in the Messiah to come, and they all knew that was what made them God's chosen people. They were the promise people who hoped in Christ. Granted, they didn't know exactly what they were hoping for, didn't fully understand it, but neither do we fully understand heaven or what the resurrection will be like - yet that's what distinguishes us as the church. We are those who hope in heaven, who hope in the resurrection, in the age to come. We hope in things we don't fully understand.
If the entirety of the significance of the nation of Israel flows from the birth of Christ and the promises that were made about him, beginning all the way back at the very beginning of human history in the Garden of Eden - then isn't Jesus the POINT of the Old Testament?
And this is what Matthew does so eloquently in Matt 2:15. When Joseph brings his wife and son Jesus out of Egypt where they had hidden, Matthew says that this fulfills the words of Scripture and quotes from Hosea 11:1, "Out of Egypt I brought my son." The only problem is that if you go back to Hos 11:1, you'll see that it VERY clearly is referring to Israel as God's son. But don't worry - Matthew knows what he's doing. He's just saying what I've been saying.
Matthew is just saying that Israel as a nation was a living, breathing testimony to Jesus Christ. They were a nation set apart. God was calling attention to them and drawing the world's gaze upon them. And the world has surely noticed and has been paying attention ever since. But the whole reason for doing so was to prepare the stage for the coming of Jesus Christ.
Jesus was, as they say, in the loins of his ancestors when they were called out of Egypt and Pharaoh and his army was drowned in the Red Sea. Their very existence and especially the story of their remarkable history bears witness to their hope in the coming Messiah who would redeem them from death. They were the Jesus people, heralding his coming on the stage of world history simply by being who they were. The Word which would be made flesh was already on the lips of his people, because their existence spoke of him long before he became a man. Their existence spoke a Word, and that is the very Word who became flesh. And that Word is recorded in the Scriptures of the Old Testament.
And OH! What a rich Word it is! How robust and full of color, character, emotion, tragedies, comedies; there are stories of heroes, cowards, men, women, children, ridiculously old people living almost a millennium; there are angels of light and monsters of the deep; there are stories of battles and warriors and kings and queens, temples and empires; there are historical narratives, poetry, prophecy, prose, mind bending wisdom literature, visions, crazy dreams, impossibly long lists of names and even a book of songs. And all of it, every single last word of it, somehow, in some way testifies to the coming of Jesus Christ and its significance.
Even the best ministers can screw it up at times. It can be really hard.
But as hard as it is - and this is really why I hate listening to sermons - foolish, sinful, prideful men inevitably make it harder than it needs to be.
Please, please, for Christ's sake, preach sermons that are simple, clear and concise. Preach the text as it shines light on Jesus Christ. Tell me what Jesus has done for me. Encourage me to hope in him. This is the point of Scripture. Yes, convict me, rebuke me, but remind me that I am redeemed. After all, isn't that the point of convicting me of my sin, to remind me to appreciate how much I need Christ and how precious his shed blood on my behalf actually is? Isn't THAT what I need?
But that is SO rarely what you get. Like I said, even if you're aiming at these goals, they're very hard to strike perfectly. Obviously when I preached sermons, that's what I was aiming for. I don't think I ever really nailed it. Only Scripture can really do that.
Sadly, most men are not even aiming at these goals deliberately to begin with. Oh sure, most men, at least in reformed and presbyterian circles, will insist that preaching must be Christ centered in theory. And yet in practice, they'll preach a moralistic sermon that says little if anything about Jesus. Rather than telling me what Jesus has done for me, they'll beat me over the head with what I need to do for him.
Worse, many men are not deliberately aiming at simplicity, clarity, brevity. They can't help it. They're sinners. They want you to know how well read they are, so they quote unnecessarily long passages from Calvin, making everyone's eyes glaze over. I love Calvin - but please don't ever read long quotes from him in a sermon. It takes a lot of time and careful thought to puzzle out what he's saying - and that's for seminary graduates! How much more is it hard to follow for laymen!
Too often they are more concerned with impressing you than communicating with you. They don't care as much that you understand the message of the text first and foremost, they care first and foremost that you walk away from the sermon saying, "Wow! Our pastor is brilliant! Clearly he's very well read! Have you seen how many books he has in his study? I've been looking for preaching like this my whole life!"
They use big words and theological jargon. They drop names to prove they've read books. They make elaborate points because they want you to know how deeply they've studied and thought about the passage. They teach you about Greek or Hebrew to show you that they can read the original languages and conduct sophisticated linguistic analysis.
They are, in short, like Tamar who prostituted herself and yet, despite herself, managed to bear witness to her hope in Christ anyway and was blessed by being grafted into Jesus' household.
And this is why I hate listening to sermons. I hate obscure sermons no one understands. I hate sermons full of undefined jargon. I hate sermons laced with discussions of the finer nuances of Greek grammar or the often bewildering definitions of Hebrew words. I hate sermons full of names of famous reformers or theologians. I hate academic, pompous, narcissistic sermons designed to impress the audience with the erudition of the speaker rather than communicate the message of the text to everyone present including the children.
The Bible is clear. We believe in the perspicuity of the Scriptures. Why don't we believe in the necessity of clarity in preaching? Why don't we value simplicity? Brevity?
I was actually - I kid you not - critiqued for preaching sermons that were too simple, too easy to understand, too clear. I'm not kidding! Not just by one guy, but SEVERAL pastors! And they were passing along not just their own criticism, but that of many in the congregation as well!
But doesn't Paul say to the Corinthians that the trouble with their three-ring circus they called a worship service was that no one understood the message? He says it's pointless to speak in uninterpreted tongues because no one knows what you're saying (1 Cor 14:6-11). It's much better to speak something that's intelligible, he says.
Likewise, when Christ's disciples ask him why he speaks in parables, he responds that he doesn't want people to understand - otherwise they'd turn and repent and he'd heal them (Matt 13:10-16). The very least thing we can take away from this passage is that understanding the message comes first, then repentance and then healing. And that understanding can't happen unless what's being said is understandable. Much more could be said about that passage, but this is an undeniable implication of it.
And this is why I hate listening to sermons. There's always something wrong with it, tarnishing God's glory, whether mishandling the text or speaking to impress. Either way, it's very uncomfortable for me.
And now that I occupy the pew and never again the pulpit, I can't do anything but just sit there and take it in and try to make the best of it. It's awful. It's almost always a tremendous struggle.
I'm very grateful for the pastor I now have. I have a good relationship with him, and he definitely aims at simplicity most of the time and clarity. He also really takes preaching Christ in all Scripture very seriously. Knowing his heart allows me to forgive him his imperfections.
But there is nothing, nothing, nothing so satisfying as preaching Christ as boldly and clearly as you can from a passage of Scripture. There is a satisfaction in that that cannot be matched by anything else in this world. This is the real reason why sitting in the pew and noticing the shortcomings of sermons (I canNOT turn off the noticing!) is so hard. Just being in the pew and not in the pulpit is so much...less...of an experience.
I can liken my relationship to the Word to the relationship a man has with his wife. And yes, I mean in the biblical sense of knowing. When you wrestle with a text all week preparing to preach it, there's an intimacy with that text. It gets into you somehow and consumes you. It's all you can think about. You're eating dinner...thinking about the text...thinking about the text...what's that noise? "Huh? Oh, sorry, what were you saying honey?" It keeps you up at night because there's something you still can't quite wrap your mind around. It's an intense, all-consuming relationship that you have with that text that week.
And then comes Sunday, that glorious day. That's when you finally get up there and let it all out of you. And it comes out in a flood of emotional and spiritual energy. And it leaves you exhausted but extremely satisfied, even though you feel self conscious about it almost immediately afterward. Like I said, just like a man and his wife.
To walk away from the pulpit is to walk away from...THAT.
To then go and sit in the pew...
I've never been divorced. But I can kind of imagine what it must be like when a man's wife leaves him and he's sad about it but goes along with it. And she takes the kids. And his life has just become so sad. And every other weekend, when he picks up the kids for their short visit, he has to see her together with her new husband. And he puts his arm around her or holds her hand...
And all you can think about is that that's your WIFE. But you don't get to have that relationship with her anymore. You get to hang out with your kids a little bit, but you aren't really their father anymore.
I don't mean to downplay the pain those men go through at all. I'm sure it's absolutely awful and they would prefer to gouge their eyes out. Nonetheless, I think it's an apt analogy.
And you know what's worse? There's only one guy (in most cases) in your entire church who can even begin to relate to what you're feeling because he knows what it is to preach - your pastor. And yet, he can't relate either because he's never had it ripped away from him like a wife who demands a divorce and walks out with the kids and you're powerless to stop her.
That's why I started this blog. I recently began talking to a man who was violently cast out of the ministry. Here at last I met someone who actually understood because he's been there. And I was able to do the same for him. I was actually able to give him some job procurement advice...
...and I felt a satisfaction I haven't known in a very, very long time.
This blog is a place where former ministers can commune together, learn from each other, and for the first time, communicate with others who have been there. We can advise each other. We can help each other heal.
Remember, this website is purely anonymous: both those who post and those who comment. Comments that name people (including the name of the commenter), churches or organizations will be deleted.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Translating Ministry Experience Into the Language of Training
So you want to apply for a job in training and you want to know how to translate your ministerial resume into the language of training. Here's some (hopefully) helpful tips.
Begin with research. To translate, you first have to learn the language. Do so here: http://www.nwlink.com/~donclark/hrd/sat.html
The material available for free at that link will teach you about the ADDIE process of curriculum development. This is also known as Instructional Systems Design. Having read and studied that material, you can now claim familiarity with ADDIE and ISD in your skill set.
Structuring Your Resume
You always want to structure a resume so that you highlight what you want to draw peoples' attention to. For example, new college grads put their eduction first, right at the top, because that's their biggest achievement. On the other hand, if you're a good 10 years out of school, you for sure want to put education last.
Most people include three basic parts to their resume: Summary (or Objective), Experience and Education. So let me ask you, which one of these do you want to highlight? If you highlight your education, most employers will think it's irrelevant and they'll immediately become disinterested in your resume. They may finish looking at it, but you've gotten off on the wrong foot. If you highlight your experience, you'll probably have the same problem. And if you highlight your summary, sort of like your resume's thesis statement, you're just highlighting everything you've already determined you don't want to highlight.
In the case of a minister/licentiate/seminary student attempting to cross over into a new career such as training, I have a slightly unconventional recommendation for you.
Get rid of the summary. Cut it out altogether. You don't need it because it won't help you.
Replace the summary with a skills list. Literally start with the word "Skills" followed by a colon and underline it. Then on the next line, just start adding in your skills and separate them with commas. Like this...
Skills:
Microsoft Office, critical thinking, public speaking, writing, linguistic analysis, ADDIE process (since you clicked the link above and read it), adult learning, classroom management, committee management, collaboration, leadership, client relations, ethics, editing, presentation creation, project management, training, masters degree
Something like that. And you'll want to put them in order of relevance so that the most significant ones come first. This may be different depending on what job you're trying to get. Make sure to include as much as you possibly can in this list. Any skills you have, regardless of your proficiency, belong here. It's ok if they're overwhelmed (which is synonymous with impressed in this context).
Anyway, think about what this does. It gets right to the point. Your experience and education are significant. But it's a lot of work to get people to really, truly understand that right? So don't ask them to climb that mountain. Start right at the top of the mountain. What are they going to figure out about you if they can get past the whole ministry confusion? Your skill set is what they're actually looking for anyway. Don't play hard to get. Give them what they want right up front. Then you'll simply spend the rest of the ink in your resume justifying and supporting the claims you make in your skill set.
After your skills, put your experience first. If you're fresh out of seminary, put your education first, making sure to include dates. Avoid large gaps in your dates. It's ok if the dates aren't too specific, but be prepared that some might become suspicious at this. If you were unemployed for a year after seminary but you were studying for licensure exams, don't put unemployed or leave a gap. Add this time as an item in your experience and include dates. Call it under care of presbytery or something.
Bullets
Use bullets to say what you were up to when you had that job or were engaged in that activity. Keep it very concise and simple, using as few words as possible. Like this:
Under Care of Presbytery (3/2010 - 9/2010)
One more thing
When asked why you left the ministry, just say simply that you left voluntarily. In Christian circles, we appreciate honesty and being vulnerable and confessing weakness, but not so in the world. Obviously you can't lie, but you don't have to offer the whole story either. You can just say that you decided you needed a change or that the ministry wasn't for you. No one will want to ask more. If they ask why you left, it's most likely out of genuine curiosity, not to quell their suspicions. And if they are suspicious, then they'll just want to know that you didn't go to jail for molesting a kid or something. So as long as you say something that's not very interesting or revealing and assures them you didn't go to jail, their question will be sufficiently answered. I mean, most people can't understand why you'd want to be a pastor in the first place. Walking away from it is something that actually makes more sense to them.
Do NOT worry that they're going to call your old church and they're going to say something that ruins your chance of getting the job. Pretend you're an unbeliever. Would you want to make that phone call? Not only do they just not want to, but they'd probably also be afraid you'd sue them and the company for prying into your religious beliefs and practices with the intent to discriminate against you.
No need to include references.
Remember, this website is purely anonymous: both those who post and those who comment. Comments that name people (including the name of the commenter), churches or organizations will be deleted.
Begin with research. To translate, you first have to learn the language. Do so here: http://www.nwlink.com/~donclark/hrd/sat.html
The material available for free at that link will teach you about the ADDIE process of curriculum development. This is also known as Instructional Systems Design. Having read and studied that material, you can now claim familiarity with ADDIE and ISD in your skill set.
Structuring Your Resume
You always want to structure a resume so that you highlight what you want to draw peoples' attention to. For example, new college grads put their eduction first, right at the top, because that's their biggest achievement. On the other hand, if you're a good 10 years out of school, you for sure want to put education last.
Most people include three basic parts to their resume: Summary (or Objective), Experience and Education. So let me ask you, which one of these do you want to highlight? If you highlight your education, most employers will think it's irrelevant and they'll immediately become disinterested in your resume. They may finish looking at it, but you've gotten off on the wrong foot. If you highlight your experience, you'll probably have the same problem. And if you highlight your summary, sort of like your resume's thesis statement, you're just highlighting everything you've already determined you don't want to highlight.
In the case of a minister/licentiate/seminary student attempting to cross over into a new career such as training, I have a slightly unconventional recommendation for you.
Get rid of the summary. Cut it out altogether. You don't need it because it won't help you.
Replace the summary with a skills list. Literally start with the word "Skills" followed by a colon and underline it. Then on the next line, just start adding in your skills and separate them with commas. Like this...
Skills:
Microsoft Office, critical thinking, public speaking, writing, linguistic analysis, ADDIE process (since you clicked the link above and read it), adult learning, classroom management, committee management, collaboration, leadership, client relations, ethics, editing, presentation creation, project management, training, masters degree
Something like that. And you'll want to put them in order of relevance so that the most significant ones come first. This may be different depending on what job you're trying to get. Make sure to include as much as you possibly can in this list. Any skills you have, regardless of your proficiency, belong here. It's ok if they're overwhelmed (which is synonymous with impressed in this context).
Anyway, think about what this does. It gets right to the point. Your experience and education are significant. But it's a lot of work to get people to really, truly understand that right? So don't ask them to climb that mountain. Start right at the top of the mountain. What are they going to figure out about you if they can get past the whole ministry confusion? Your skill set is what they're actually looking for anyway. Don't play hard to get. Give them what they want right up front. Then you'll simply spend the rest of the ink in your resume justifying and supporting the claims you make in your skill set.
After your skills, put your experience first. If you're fresh out of seminary, put your education first, making sure to include dates. Avoid large gaps in your dates. It's ok if the dates aren't too specific, but be prepared that some might become suspicious at this. If you were unemployed for a year after seminary but you were studying for licensure exams, don't put unemployed or leave a gap. Add this time as an item in your experience and include dates. Call it under care of presbytery or something.
Bullets
Use bullets to say what you were up to when you had that job or were engaged in that activity. Keep it very concise and simple, using as few words as possible. Like this:
Under Care of Presbytery (3/2010 - 9/2010)
- Conducting licensure exams
- Attended meetings of local/regional/national governance boards
You may be a little concerned to put that on your resume. But it's vastly preferred to leaving a gap or saying unemployed. If you were a student, you can put student if you want, but this is why you put dates on your education.
I've looked at resumes before and conducted interviews. I asked about a gap and it turned out to be a period of unemployment resulting from the candidate's inability to pass the (several months long) background check. He began working for the company before the check was completed, and when he didn't pass, they let him go. Experienced interviewers will always ask about these things.
But they won't even ask about what I suggested above. They have no idea what a licensure exam is, or a Presbytery for that matter, but it sure sounds very involved. And it took 6 months! If they do ask, you can just begin to describe the licensure process, and after 3 sentences or so, they'll be overwhelmed and impressed enough that you can move on to the next thing.
Specific Tips
Ok, down to the nitty gritty. Here's some specific tips on how to word those experience bullets.
- Use the language of ADDIE (see link above)
- You didn't write sermons or Sunday school lessons - you wrote lesson plans, you developed curriculum
- It's not a session/consistory/whatever - it's a governance board
- It's not a presbytery, it's a regional governance body
- You've used sophisticated computer software (Accordance, BibleWorks, Logos) to conduct complex academic and linguistic searches to aid in historical and grammatical analysis of ancient texts in multiple languages
- You conducted textual analysis of ancient texts in multiple languages
- You translated ancient texts from multiple languages into English based on grammatical, historical, cultural, linguistic analysis, consulting cutting edge software and the latest modern scholarship
- As a pastor, you can say that you
moderated a sessionchaired a committee that oversaw a $150k annual budget (or whatever it was - numbers in your resume are always a plus) - Use the word leadership a lot - helps you come across as strong and confident
- You regularly contributed thought leadership at meetings of local/regional/national governance boards (if you ever gave a speech at presbytery - or if not, silence can be thought leadership too)
- For education, be sure to include that your seminary degree involved 100+ credit hours (typical masters degree is 32)
- Use Calibri font because it's easier to read (yes, I know this isn't Calibri)
- Start each bullet with a nice, strong, main verb from the higher levels of Bloom's Taxonomy. Definitely be able to talk about Bloom's Taxonomy in any training job. Google "Bloom's Taxonomy verbs" to find a list of verbs appropriate to each level of the taxonomy.
- Don't feel constrained to one page - that's just not a rule anymore. But don't try to fill it up with a lot of words either. Be concise. If you need the space, use it, but only if you need it. The longer it is, the less likely someone will read it carefully, if at all.
- Don't try to hide that you had some horrible minimum wage job. There's no shame in taking whatever work you can find when going through a difficult time.
So that should be about it. Send your resume along with a pain letter. Send enough of these, and you'll get a call back.
One more thing
When asked why you left the ministry, just say simply that you left voluntarily. In Christian circles, we appreciate honesty and being vulnerable and confessing weakness, but not so in the world. Obviously you can't lie, but you don't have to offer the whole story either. You can just say that you decided you needed a change or that the ministry wasn't for you. No one will want to ask more. If they ask why you left, it's most likely out of genuine curiosity, not to quell their suspicions. And if they are suspicious, then they'll just want to know that you didn't go to jail for molesting a kid or something. So as long as you say something that's not very interesting or revealing and assures them you didn't go to jail, their question will be sufficiently answered. I mean, most people can't understand why you'd want to be a pastor in the first place. Walking away from it is something that actually makes more sense to them.
Do NOT worry that they're going to call your old church and they're going to say something that ruins your chance of getting the job. Pretend you're an unbeliever. Would you want to make that phone call? Not only do they just not want to, but they'd probably also be afraid you'd sue them and the company for prying into your religious beliefs and practices with the intent to discriminate against you.
No need to include references.
Remember, this website is purely anonymous: both those who post and those who comment. Comments that name people (including the name of the commenter), churches or organizations will be deleted.
Transforming a Minister into a Trainer
You're a former minister/licentiate/seminary student, and for whatever reason, the ministry is a closed door and you're wondering what to do with your life. You've got a ton of education and some experience, but it doesn't seem like any of it is very easily applicable in any job field.
Good news! It is applicable! It's applicable in the area of training. Something that is truly exploding these days is any kind of software training. There are tons of these jobs near any major city.
In today's climate, there are lots of software companies whose growth is so explosive that they're desperate to hire as many trainers as possible. Since their product is new, they aren't looking for people who already know their software - after all, no one does yet.
This means, if you have a pulse and can demonstrate some capability to learn new technology, possibly even string a coherent sentence together, you can probably get hired to do this. They'll train you on their software and then pay you to train others.
This is a great way to cut your teeth in the training world and establish yourself and your resume. Trust me - take any job in software training. I've seen guys with only a little bit of experience and no college get hired for 60-70k per year plus benefits. If you graduated seminary, you have a masters degree in training and communications (verbal and written), not to mention critical thinking. You're a training team's dream - though they may not know it if you don't translate your resume into a language they can understand. More on that in another post.
First, there are two broad areas of training you can get into.
Good news! It is applicable! It's applicable in the area of training. Something that is truly exploding these days is any kind of software training. There are tons of these jobs near any major city.
In today's climate, there are lots of software companies whose growth is so explosive that they're desperate to hire as many trainers as possible. Since their product is new, they aren't looking for people who already know their software - after all, no one does yet.
This means, if you have a pulse and can demonstrate some capability to learn new technology, possibly even string a coherent sentence together, you can probably get hired to do this. They'll train you on their software and then pay you to train others.
This is a great way to cut your teeth in the training world and establish yourself and your resume. Trust me - take any job in software training. I've seen guys with only a little bit of experience and no college get hired for 60-70k per year plus benefits. If you graduated seminary, you have a masters degree in training and communications (verbal and written), not to mention critical thinking. You're a training team's dream - though they may not know it if you don't translate your resume into a language they can understand. More on that in another post.
First, there are two broad areas of training you can get into.
- Internal training: getting hired by a company to train their employees internally
- External training: getting hired by a training organization to provide training on demand for external clients
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking number 2 would be more exciting and would probably pay better, right? You're probably right, though I doubt the pay difference is that great, if it exists at all.
I've done both internal and external training. External training is exciting at times, especially when you get into creating custom tailored training for a specific client for a specific purpose. That can be pretty cool and can involve travel, etc. However, chances are you're going to be stuck teaching the same basic class 3-4 times a week to a different group of students each day. That's if business is good. If business isn't good, then you have to worry about getting laid off. And once you truly understand your situation, you'll worry. A lot. Especially when there's no advertising budget.
When you're doing internal training, business is always good. Plus, you'll get more opportunities to get beyond the basics with your users because you're right there in the organization, available to them at all times. Yes, you'll teach some classes, but you'll also find yourself in a resident expert role. You'll answer help desk tickets and troubleshoot problems.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, yuck, I'm not an IT guy. Right. Neither am I. But I answer help desk tickets. Granted, some of them are rather tedious and the need to document everything gets old fast. However, some of them are really interesting problems to solve and people need help doing some really advanced stuff. This is where you'll really learn a lot and prove your value to the organization.
People who do good work in these kinds of jobs have tremendous job security. They can lay off a couple salesmen, but they can't lay off the guy who enables ALL the salesmen to do their job.
For example, let's talk about SharePoint. Lots of people have all kinds of notions about SharePoint. Usually it's that they hate it. But they only hate it because they refuse to take the time to learn it. With a little time, it's actually really quite easy. If you can use Microsoft Office proficiently, a Windows PC and the internet, you already have the skills you need to learn SharePoint. Nothing about SharePoint is hard, there's just a lot to learn. Your ability to memorize is very sharp, though, you who have studied Greek and Hebrew, so you'll find it quite easy.
I had about a year of training experience (teaching writing, public speaking, critical thinking, etc) before I got a job doing software training. I was able to get that job based on my training for the ministry, my small amount of experience as an intern and my year of classroom training experience. After doing that about a year and a half, I took a job doing internal SharePoint training. I had no SharePoint experience at all. My new employer simply gave me an account to access online videos. After 2 weeks of thorough study, I was all ready to go and began building curriculum, answering help tickets and troubleshooting problems.
And five years ago, I would have said that anyone who makes as much money as I do is rich (though I now realize how naive I was, especially about money). Now, I'm not greedy, and I'm sure you aren't either. Nonetheless, there's probably a little part of your heart somewhere that's secretly glad you're not in the ministry making 35k at some tiny church in a small town with 3 stubborn families who refuse to acknowledge that theirs is not the only true church in the universe, and all because it was the only call you got and you needed a job.
You have a masters degree and some very sharp, very marketable skills. Once you learn to market them properly, you can join the my-wife-doesn't-have-to-work-nights-anymore club. Don't you want to call the Dave Ramsey show and do your debt free scream? I sure do. And that day is coming soon. I will be 100% debt free in just a couple more months. No car payment, no school loans, no credit cards, nothing.
When I'm debt free, I'm going to save up for a sizable down payment on a house. But I'm also, for the first time, going to be able to respond when the announcement is made in church that "the deacons have a special need for $500 for a worthy individual in need." I'm looking forward to that day. Much more than buying a house.
Sorry, I got distracted. Where was I? Oh yes, SharePoint. Like I said, 1-3 years, you could very possibly be making low six figures. The secret is this: competence and motivation. If you do a good job (which you are more than capable of) and you have an ongoing reason to want to continue to do a good job (such as a desire to provide for your family and please your God), you're pretty much going to get promoted and excel, so long as you don't offend people and make enemies. By the way, don't aim at making everyone you work with your friend - that's impossible. Just aim at making some friendly acquaintances and not making enemies out of everyone else. And of course, make opportunities to pay your boss respect and show initiative in any way you can think of.
SharePoint is easy. But it's a great example of an opportunity for you. SharePoint is easy enough that it won't make you crazy trying to figure things out. You can get answers to any question within 30 seconds if you have access to Google. But SharePoint is complicated enough that most people won't spend the time to figure the thing out and they'd rather pay you to figure it out for them and just point them at the easy button. Sure, if they'd only spend a week getting great training (which you'd be happy to provide), they could do this for themselves. But they know they're far too important to spend a week doing that.
SharePoint is made by Microsoft and is used by just about every large-ish enterprise in the US. It's not as ubiquitous as Office, but it's up there. Companies use it to provide structure for their company intranet, which is just like the internet only it's inaccessible outside the company's network. People use it to store documents and collaborate on them (like Google Docs). They can store other files as well (like Google Drive).
Let me give you an example of a use case that will be more familiar to you. Suppose you're back in seminary and your professor, in the week leading up to the exam, hands out this huge list of 100 essay questions he may ask you on the exam as a study guide. As soon as he exits the room, 20 of you collaborate and divvy up the questions, taking 5 questions each.
When you were actually in seminary, you probably used Google to do this. We did at my school. But that was definitely a pain.
Now imagine you have SharePoint...
You could build a site, accessible by only the students who actually collaborated. That one guy who said he needed to do his own work or some such thing and refused to participate wouldn't be given access. If he's logged into Windows, you won't even be able to navigate to that web page.
You could have lots of tools for your use on this collaborative site. You could have a calendar where you could post times when you were planning on getting together for discussions and study groups. You could have an announcements list that anyone could contribute to, to let people known that a new event has been posted to the calendar or something. You could have a discussion board where students could debate answers to questions without having to put 50 comments in the Word document. You could have a document library, which is in some ways kind of like an online folder to store documents. But it's also more than that. You can view a document or edit it right in the web browser, or you can download it and edit in on your computer. You can also set the documents so that people have to check them out to edit them, which prevents anyone else from editing it until it's checked back in - though they can still view it.
You can do more too. You can set up a workflow, which is simply an automatic process. You can also set up an ability to have draft and published versions of your essay answers, and each person can start out with their own document for their five questions. The workflow would come in when you say to yourself, ok, I think I've got good answers now, I'm going to publish this. Then you can turn on the workflow (or it can kick on automatically whenever you upload a document to a document library you decided to call the "done" library) and it'll automatically email all the collaborators, signaling them that your document is done and ready for them to read.
Do you think something like that might come in handy in today's workplaces? Oh, you betcha. Man, companies are eating this up. But like I said, it's kind of a lot to learn for most people, and since it doesn't directly contribute to earning glory for yourself by impressing a client, most people can't be bothered to learn much more than the very basics. So they'll always need you and your expertise.
But why don't they just use Google Drive for free? Because Google Drive is...well, where is it, exactly? Your data I mean? When you upload a document to Google Drive, where does it go? No one knows for sure (probably to a server on some barge off the coast of San Francisco), but wherever it is, Google owns it. That literally terrifies company executives. They want it stored in their server in their building where their IT people can babysit it and assure them that no one else can see it. SharePoint provides the structure that allows them to do this.
You'd be surprised how easy it is to learn SharePoint with just a week or two of concentrated effort. You're willing to do that because you can make a living from then on. You may not be able to land a job like that right away. You may have to establish yourself a bit first. But it won't take as long as you think.
Maybe SharePoint won't be your thing. That's ok. It's just an example. There are lots of opportunities out there in software training. There are lots of opportunities in other areas too. Reach out to everyone you know. If you can get someone on the inside, that helps tremendously. And everyone you know that works at a good sized business has people that do their training that they can put you in touch with. Who knows - they might be hiring. And if the person you know has a good reputation with them, they'll be much more inclined to hire you.
You'll also want to target certain software companies or whatever organizations you're interested in. And when you do, be sure to Google "pain letter".
Resume tips coming soon.
Remember, this website is purely anonymous: both those who post and those who comment. Comments that name people (including the name of the commenter), churches or organizations will be deleted.
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